Lyrics

(falsetto) Who’s that knocking at my door? Who’s that knocking at my door? Who’s that knocking at my door? Cried the fair young maiden.

(bass) It’s only me from across the sea, Said Barnacle Bill the sailor. It’s only me from across the sea, Said Barnacle Bill the sailor.

Why are you knocking at my door? ‘Cos I’m young enough and ready and rough.

You can sleep upon the floor. Oh get off the floor, you dirty old whore.

You can sleep upon the mat. Oh bugger the mat, you can’t fuck that.

You can sleep on the stairs. Oh bugger the stairs they ain’t got hairs.

You can sleep between my tits. Oh bugger your tits, they give me the shits.

You can sleep between my thighs. Oh bugger your thighs, they’re covered with flies.

You can sleep within my cunt. Oh bugger your cunt, but I’ll fuck for a stunt.

What will we do when the baby’s born? Oh we’ll drown the bugger and fuck for another.