Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

Contributed by Catwoman and Penis Head

There was a girl who hashed with us and BIMBO was her name oh B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

This girl she had enormous tits Three-eight-double-D- oh B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

And on these tits she did depend To have her way with men oh B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

The guys would follow her around To try to suck her toes oh B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

She always shopped at Frederick’s For lacy bras and things oh B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

The other girls all hated her Because she was a BIMBO B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O And BIMBO was her name oh

CAN’T HASH TODAY (aka PADDY’S LAMENT) Melody - The Scotsman’s Kilt (an adaption of a Clancy Brothers song) Contributed by Paddy O’Tool

Dear Hash I sing this song for to tell you of my plight, For at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight, Me body is all black and blue, and me face a deathly gray, And I hope you’ll understand why Paddy’s not at the Hash today.

I was workin’ on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear, But to toss ‘em down from such a height was not a good idea. The foreman wasn’t very pleased (he is an awkward sod), He said I’d have to cart them down the ladder in me hod.

Now clearin’ all those bricks by hand seemed oh so very slow, So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below. But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see, That a barrel full of buildin’ bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead, And clingin’ tightly to the rope I started up instead. I shot up like a rocket, ‘til to my dismay I found, That halfways up, I met the bloody barrel comin’ down.

Oh the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped, And when I reached the top I smacked the pulley with me head. I still clung on though numb with shocked from this almighty blow, As the barrel spilled out half its bricks from fourteen floors below.

Now when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor, I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more. Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body racked with pain, When halfways down I met the bloody barrel once again

Oh the force of this collision halfways down the office block Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock Still clinging tightly to the rope as I headed toward the ground, And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

As I lay there moanin’ on the ground, I thought I’d passed the worst, When the barrel struck the pulley wheel and didn’t the bottom burst. A shower of bricks rained down on me, sure I didn’t have a hope, And as I lay there losin’ consciousness, I let go the bloody rope.

Now the barrel (being heavier) then started down once more, And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor. It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say, That I hope you understand why Paddy’s not at the Hash today.