Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

Contributed by Mike “SmallBone” Featherston (copyrighted material?)

I’ve blown too much of my time, Buying dinner and wine. And my money on flowers and lollys, Only to find that what’s on my mind Isn’t on hers and she’s sorry.

So I made up some lines To save wasting time And to keep me from spending my brass. I’m ever so cool; I just prop on a stool Right next to hers and I ask,

“Do you fuck on first dates? Does your Dad own a brewery? Can I feel your tits? Or will you show them to me? ‘Cause you’ve got a nice head And you look pretty honest. This face’ll be leaving in quarter of an hour I’d like you to be on it.”

Well you know how it is when you first meet a Sheila And the bullshit you gotta’ go through Like callin’ her up and tellin’ her you love her When all you want is just a screw. And how she wants to hold hands and you to meet her Old Man. And sit around for hours and talk Well, my new method is, you just cut through the gizz And get down to the goodies straight off.

“Do you fuck on first dates? Does your Dad own a brewery? Can I feel your tits? Or will you show them to me? Do you sleep in the nude? Do you give head very often? If we can decide, your place or mine, we can fuck of then.

You know how it is when you see a good looking Sheila And you’d give a weeks pay just to hold her. Don’t sit acting dumb. Just face her full on Remember the lines that I told ya’ Now this method of mine might not work every time But then again no method will. I’ve been spat at and slapped and kneed in the ‘nads But then I’ve had a few fucks as well.

“Do you fuck on first dates? Does your Dad own a brewery? Can I feel your tits? Or will you show them to me? If the answer is no, to the questions above. Be a good sport and give me the name Of a girlfriend who does!