Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

http://www.fighterpilotuniversity.com/music-and-theater/songs/don-t- want-to-join-the-af/ I don’t want to join the Army, I don’t want to go to war, I’d rather hang around Picadilly Underground, Living off the earnings of a high born lady. I don’t want a bullet up me arsehole, Don’t want me buttocks shot away, I want to stay in England, Jolly, jolly England, And fornicate me bloomin’ life away, gor blimey …

Monday I touched her on the ankle, Tuesday I touched her on the knee, On Wednesday, I confess, I lifted up her dress, Thursday I saw you-know-what, Friday I put me hand upon it, Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (Tweak! Tweak!) And Sunday after supper, I put the old boy up ‘er, And now she earns me forty bob a week, gor blimey.

I don’t want to join the Navy, I don’t want to go to sea, I just want to go down to old Soho, Tickling all the girlies in the umtiddly-um-pum, I don’t want a bayonet up me arsehole, I don’t want me knackers shot away, I’d rather live in England, Merry, merry England, And fornicate me fuckin’ life away.

Call out the Regimental Army, Call out the Navy and Marines, Call out me mother, Me sister and me brother, But for God’s sake, Don’t call me, gor blimey.