Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

By Danny Ross Taylor, Austin HHH

CHORUS: Masturbation, I love masturbation, Masturbation, I love to masturbate.

Leader: How I like to choke my chicken, Pack: Yes, he likes to choke his chicken, Leader: Choke my chicken, Pack: Choke his chicken, Leader: Masturbate, Pack: Masturbate,

Chorus

Leader is now the next person on the right - lead goes around the circle with each new verse, and all old verses should be repeated, as in AAHLAWETA:

Leader: How I like to spank my monkey, Pack: How he likes to spank his monkey, Leader: Spank my monkey, Pack: Spank his monkey, Leader: Choke my chicken, Pack: Choke his chicken, Leader: Masturbate, Pack: Masturbate,

OTHER VERSES: Lope my mule Rub my nub Whip my lizard Swat my twat Tease the beaver Flog my log Stroke my snatch Tap my gap Beat my meat Pull my pony Yank my chain Use three fingers Moan and jerk etc … This goes on until no one can think of new masturbation verses, at which point the song becomes “Fornication”:

CHORUS: Fornication, I love fornication, Fornication, I love to fornicate.

Leader: How I like to be on top, Pack: Yes, she likes to be on top Leader: Be on top, Pack: Be on top, Leader: Fornicate, Pack: Fornicate,

OTHER VERSES: Do it standing up Hide the salami Drive it deep Bark like a dog Bump and grind Pump and hump Grind her mound Give jungle love Do it in the dirt etc …