Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

(Take turns leading verses)

Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile, in Mobile, Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile, Oh the eagles they fly high, And they shit right in your eye, Thank the Lord that cows don’t fly, In Mobile.

CHORUS: In Mobile, in Mobile, In Mo, in Mo, in Mobile, A-a-sshole, a-a-sshole, a-a-a-sshole.

There’s a girl by the name of Dinah in Mobile, in Mobile, There’s a girl by the name of Dinah in Mobile, There’s a girl by the name of Dinah, Who thinks there’s nothing finer, Than a prick up her vagina, In Mobile.

Oh the vicar is a bugger in Mobile, etc And the curate is another, And they bugger one another, In Mobile.

There’s a shortage of bog paper in Mobile, etc So they wait until it vapors, Then they light it with a taper, In Mobile.

If you’re ever thrown in jail in Mobile, etc Well there’s no need for bail, ‘Cause the sheriff’s wife’s for sale, In Mobile.

Oh the Hashers get no tail in Mobile, etc So for want of recreation, they indulge in masturbation, It’s a hell of a situation, In Mobile.

Oh there’s a brand-new lighthouse in Mobile, etc Which the birds use for a shit-house, Now the lighthouse is a white house, In Mobile.

There’s a shortage of good bogs in Mobile, etc So they wait until it clogs, Then they saw it up in logs, In Mobile.

There’s a man by the name of Hunt in Mobile, etc Who thought he had a cunt, But his balls were back to front, In Mobile.

There’s a man by the name of West in Mobile, etc Who thought he had a breast, But his balls were on his chest, In Mobile.

Oh the girls they wear tin undies in Mobile, etc And they take them off on Sundays, You should see the boys on Mondays, In Mobile.

There’s a shortage of good whores in Mobile, etc But there’s keyholes in the doors, And there’s knotholes in the floors, In Mobile.

Oh the parson is perverted in Mobile, etc And his morals are inverted, There’s a thousand he’s converted, In Mobile.

Frenchies are in short supply in Mobile, etc And that’s the reason why, You’ll see them hanging out to dry, In Mobile.

The virgins they are rare in Mobile, etc When they get their pubic hair, They’re deflowered by the mayor, In Mobile.

Oh the girls they wear tin pants in Mobile, etc And they take them off to dance, All the fellows get a chance, In Mobile.

There’s a lad named Dirty Danny in Mobile, etc And he likes a bit of fanny, And he gets if off of granny, In Mobile.

There’s a bastard named Mercator in Mobile, etc Who’s the greatest fornicator, Masturbator, cunt-inflater, In Mobile.

There’s a girl with no ambition in Mobile, etc And when she isn’t wishin’, she gets it in the kitchen, From the local obstetrician, In Mobile.

Oh men of drinking classes in Mobile, etc When you’ve finished with your glasses, You can shove them up your asses, In Mobile.

Oh the chemists are the key men in Mobile, etc Selling dehydrated semen, To emasculated he-men, In Mobile.

Oh the privates wash the dishes in Mobile, etc And they dry them on their britches, Oh the dirty sons of bitches, In Mobile.

Oh the sergeant is a bugger in Mobile, etc And the corporal is another, And they bugger one another, In Mobile.

Oh they drink their whisky neat in Mobile, etc Till it drops them off their feet, And they cannot get a beat, In Mobile.

Oh I chased the colonel’s daughter in Mobile, etc And I shagged her when I caught her, Now the daughter’s got a daughter, In Mobile.

Oh, the cows they are all dead in Mobile, etc So they milk the bulls instead, ‘Cause the bastards must be fed, In Mobile.