Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

An engineer told me before he died, Ah-humm, ah-humm, An engineer told me before he died, Ah-humm, ah-humm, An engineer told me before he died, I have no reason to believe he lied. Ah-humm, ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm,

He had a wife with a cunt so wide (three times), That she could never be satisfied.

So he built a bloody great wheel (three times), Two balls of brass and a prick of steel.

The balls of brass he filled with cream (three times), And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.

He strapped her wrists to the sides of the bed (three times), He tied her feet above her head.

There she lay demanding a fuck (three times), He tipped his hat and wished her luck.

Round and round went the bloody great wheel (three times), In and out went the prick of steel.

Up and up went the level of steam (three times), Down and down went the level of cream.

Till at last the maiden cried (three times), “Enough! Enough! I’m satisfied!”

(Slowly …) Now we come to the tragic bit (three times), There was no way of stopping it.

(Back to speed …) Round and round went the bloody great wheel (three times), In and out went the prick of steel.

Up and up went the level of steam (three times), Down and down went the level of cream.

She was split from ass to tit (three times), And the whole fucking issue was covered in shit.

Other endings (optional): The moral of this story is mighty clear (three times), Never fuck an engineer.

The last time, sir, that prick was seen (three times), It was over in England fucking the Queen.

It jumped off her, it jumped on him (three times), And then it buggered their next of kin.

It jumped upon an uptown bus (three times), And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.

Nine months later a child was born (three times), With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.

Now we come to the bit that’s grim (three times), It finished with her and started on him.

Now we come to the bit that’s blue (three times), It finished with him and it’s looking for YOU!