Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

Contributed by Ed Cray

My ambition’s to go on the stage; From this you can se that I’ve got ‘em. In pantomine I’m all the rage, I’m the hole in the elephant’s bottom.

Oh! the girls think that I’m it, As they sit in the stalls I can spot ‘em, And I wink at the girls in the pit Through the hole in the elephant’s bottom.

One night we performed in a farce And they stuffed up the bottom with cotton, But it split and I showed my bare arse Through the hole in the elephant’s bottom.

There are pockets inside in the cloth For two bottles of Bass, if you got ‘em. But they hiss and they boo when I blow out the froth Through the hole in the elephant’s bottom.

Now my part hasn’t got any words But there’s nothing that can’t be forgotten, I spend all my time pushing property turds Through the hole in the elephant’s bottom.

Some may think that this story is good And some may believe that it’s rotten, But those that don’t like it can stuff it right up The hole in the elephant’s bottom.

Should the Japanese make an attack, Then hundreds of bombs they will drop ‘em, But we’ll keep ‘em at bay with an Oerliken gun Through the hole in the elephant’s bottom.