Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

CHORUS: It’s a bastard away from the women and all, With a pain in the guts from a great lover’s ball, But there’s nothing so lonely, shocking, or queer, Than to knock off a barmaid that’s got gonorrhoea.

The publican’s anxious for the chemist to come, He’s looking with lust at the barmaid’s big bum, He’s waiting to give her a belt up the back, But without a French letter he might get the jack.

The stockman rides in with a masterly stroke, Takes the pants off her and gives a poke, The look on his face quickly turns into fear, When the barmaid informs him he just got gonorrhoea.

The swaggie tramps in undoing his fly, He says, “Give me a poke or I’ll shoot in your eye.” The stockman jumps up and says, “Don’t do it, mate.” But the swaggie says sadly, “It’s too bloody late.”

Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life, Goes home for a roger with his darling wife, As he walks in the bedroom, she says with a sneer, “Without a Frenchie, you’ll get nothin’ here.”

There’s a dog on the verandah, still sufferin’ from shock, He’s just seen the size of old Billy’s cock, He dashes for cover and cringes in fear, Billy’s sure to root something; I’m movin’ from here!