Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

Contributed by Rob Basford, Boston HHH

Oh … let me tell you a story about the Boston Hashers They’ve been here for twenty-four years, Each week they run on flour through shiggy for an hour In an effort to find a few beers!

CHORUS: But do we ever complain, no we never complain, From whining we refrain (‘cept for “Rectal”) We may run forever in the streets of Boston For the beer and shiggy terain.

Now “Watergate” she was, once the greatest grand-mattress, ‘cause she bitches, she moans, and she … shits, She’ll slam down on the phone because she has PMS syndrome, But we love her for her really big … HEART!

Now “Sweet Molasses” has the cutest of asses, A nicer one you’ll ne-ver find, When her buttocks wiggle … it makes my old boy giggle That’s why I like to come from behind!

Well all … night … long … “Shine On” waits at the station Crying “what will be-come of me?” How … can … I … afford to see my boyfriend in Roxbury Or my cousins way out in … Chel-sea!

Now every Boston virgin will hear us all uh urgin’ To tell us … with who you came, Then you’ll hear “Rectal” holler, “Give me your ten dollars!” It’s no wonder how he got his name!

While “Fat One’s” a singin’ and we’re all here a drinkin’ I’ve been thinking it’s been a great day. Then a voice … cries out in a very load shout, “I’m ‘Rectal’ and you all must pay!”

Now with the circle hash … re-spect is what we expect On private … parties we frown, So if you can’t shut up then we’ll fill up your cu-up And make you drink it … DOWN! DOWN! DOWN!

When the Hare is “Friar Fuck”, we’re … all shit out of lu-uck He doesn’t know his flora at all, So best you be ready to cut with a machete, Through Poison Ivy ten feet tall!

Well then there’s “Ski Bobbit” who sets hashes like a hobbit, They’re difficult but they … are … fun, Three four hours gone … SEO makes the On-On shouting “Who fucking set this run?!”

Well “Piece of Tail” waits, at the Scollay Square station, Every day at quarter past two, And through the open window hands … “White Flash” a down-down As the train goes rumbling through!

Now Boston’s got a thriller who’d be a lady killer, Except he’s hard on female e-gos, ‘Cause when we grab his member, he DOESN’T REMEMBER! It’s Narcoleptic Romeo …

When French Tickler wants to pass, with great legs and ass Male hashers follow with glee But ‘though she’s fun and silly, you best tuck in your willy ‘cause she’s got a man in Par-eee

Now there ain’t no hasher’s greater than our own “Master Waiter” It’s impossible to get … him … lost, Ever since that year when he ran right past the beer, ‘Found a chesty muddy river to cross!

And this is the story of a hasher named “Junky”, On a tragic and fateful day, He put ten beers in pocket, kissed his wife and girlfrie-end, And moved to Califor-nee-i-a!

Well “Meat Pie” … she … waits, at the Scolly Square station, Every day at quarter past two, And through the open window hands … “No Hands” a few brew-ews As the train goes rumbling through!