Source: Horntip Collection - Half-Mind Hymnal 2011

Lyrics

(Take turns leading verses)

The lady of the manor Was dressing for the ball (for the ball, for the ball), When she spied a tinker, Pissing up against the wall (against the wall, against the wall).

CHORUS: With his great big kidney wiper, And his balls the size of three, And a yard and a half of foreskin (fiveskin, sixskin) Hanging down below his knees. Syphil-I-O, syphil-I-A, Muff divers in the sky.

The lady wrote a letter, And in it she did say, I’d rather be fucked by you sir, Then his lordship any day.

The tinker got the letter, And then it he did read, His balls began to fester, And his prick began to bleed.

He mounted on his donkey, And he rode up to the strand, His balls across his shoulders, And his penis in his hand.

He rode up to the mansion, He rode up to the hall, The butler cried, “God save us! He’s come to fuck us all!”

He fucked the cook in the kitchen, He fucked the maid in the hall, And then he fucked the butler, The dirtiest trick of all.

And then he fucked the mistress, In ten minutes she was dead. With a yard and a half of foreskin, Hanging round her head.

The tinker is now dead sir, They say he’s gone to hell, And there he fucks the devil, I hope he fucks him well.